Broken Angel
by Maartje
Summary: Chris has spend the 5 years she has been away from her loved ones in a psych ward...
1. Broken Angel Chapter 1

Broken Angel  
  
Disclaimer: sadly the characters of this story do not belong to me, well except Mary I suppose, but I don't like her, so she's free for the taking.  
  
AN: hmmm, the usual, English isn't my first language and I still don't have a beta reader. Oh, and for purposes of this story Chris never came back.  
  
Broken Angel.  
  
The nurse looked at the women on the bed, fast asleep. The drugs would do that to a person. She remembered the day this woman checked herself in, the nurse had only been a trainee then and was astonished someone would bring herself into a mental institution. 'Till that point she never had actually believed anyone could know they were going crazy.  
  
The nurse looked kept on staring at her charge. She had seemed very in control when she had first come here, seemed to hope for some kind of cure so she could get out of there again. Slowly the self-control began failing when she was prescribed more and more drugs. Now she was a nut case like the rest of them.  
  
The nurse looked at the woman she only knew as Jane Doe; life shouldn't have treated her this bad.  
  
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She was scared of sleeping, scared of dreaming, she knew what she was going to dream, no drug could stop it, they couldn't even lessen it. But at least now she was safe, she couldn't hurt anyone as long as she was in here. A self-imposed imprisonment was the price she was paying for a crime not committed. But in her dreams, the crimes, the murders, they were all too real. And every time she woke up she lusted for the blood she had tasted in her dreams, she needed to kill them, until the little rational thought she had left called her to order. She knew she would've killed him if she had woken up next to him one more time.  
  
Sleep overtook her against her will dragging her down the dark places of her mind. She was powerless to resist.  
  
=============  
  
"Hey sleepy head, it's morning, you don't want to miss breakfast." the nurse said, so waking up Jane.  
  
"Leave me alone, go pester some other imbecile." The woman answered gruffly, her hands just itched seeing this happy face.  
  
"You know I am getting really fed up with your self pity! Why are you here anyway? It's not like you think you're napoleon or something!" The nurse, Mary, had decided on another tactic. Not that she thought it would work, but everything had to be tried.  
  
"I have earned a little self-pity! I have been stuck in this heel hole for five years today!" the woman complained. "Well, you'd get out of here a lot sooner if you finally started cooperating with the doc's!" Mary knew most of them had already given up on this semi-sane woman, they knew something was wrong, and that she couldn't be released but what exactly they didn't have a clue about. Well, considering Jane hadn't even given her real name in five years showed that if she didn't want someone to know something she would never tell them.  
  
"Every time I do someone just prescribes me more pills, I want to keep at least a little part of my brain functioning properly, thank you very much."  
  
Mary hated to admit it, but Jane had a point, doctors hated not knowing, not being able to cure, so they tried and tried and tried.  
  
"They are for your own good." She said, feeling like a liar.  
  
"They don't do any good. Now are you going to get me breakfast or do I have to walk to the grubroom myself?" Jane asked, hoping for the first.  
  
"I am not your servant you get your own food I have to make your bed, that's bad enough."  
  
"Hey, at least I don't pee in mine, count yourself lucky." Jane said, referring to all the other patients who did still wet themselves.  
  
"What's your name?" Mary suddenly asked, as Jane started dressing.  
  
"None of your business, but nice try."  
  
"You know, I have a friend who's a cop he might run your fingerprints through the computer and see what we come up with. You could also tell me, which would be a lot easier."  
  
"Are you threatening me?" Jane asked, not flinching.  
  
"No, just telling you." Mary said, knowing that if she had been bluffing she probably would have buckled.  
  
"What's this cops name? I'd like to know who to sue when he gives you my name." Jane said casually and went back to dressing herself.  
  
"Of course I won't tell you that!" Mary said, never really having thought of it that way.  
  
"If you are so chummy with this police officer, why haven't you tried it sooner? You have been dying to know since the moment I walked in here." Chris asked, still probing the young nurse for information.  
  
"Because I started dating him about a month ago and my life doesn't revolve around you, contrary to popular opinion." Mary countered.  
  
"And he is from LA?" Chris asked.  
  
"He lives right on the beach." Mary smiled thinking about the wonderful beach house where they had celebrated his promotion, one he'd never thought he'd get, just last night.  
  
"All I can say is: Don't. You will be getting both yourself and your boyfriend into trouble by spreading privileged information. You'll be getting me into trouble, and all the people I care about, you'd hurt them." Jane had obviously chosen for a change of tactics as well.  
  
"Jane. No one has ever visited you in five years! What loved ones? I am the closest thing to a friend you have."  
  
"Just don't Mary, I don't want anyone to know I am here, and more importantly don't want them to know why I am here. It is for the best." Jane said, not looking like the average mental patient at all.  
  
"You always think you know what's best! Maybe they want to be there for you!" Mary really couldn't stand the woman at this moment.  
  
"I used to be normal, I used to be sane. I want to be remembered as that! Not as some homicidal loony!"  
  
"You are talking like you have died already!"  
  
Mary never saw it coming, the hand around her neck, the other hand fastening her hands, the knee in her stomach. She squirmed, tried to breath, tried to scream. Suddenly Jane let go and started sobbing.  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Mary." She had backed away into a corner of the room and let herself drop there, her arms clasped around her knees, a tear rolled slowly down her cheek.  
  
Mary looked at her, also crying, she knew she should calm the patient, she knew it was her own fault for letting her guard down. She looked at the small figure in the corner one more time, and then bolted out of the room.  
  
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The next day it took a little bit of courage for Mary to come into the room the next day, several of the nurses had offered to do it for her, or at least accompany her, but she wouldn't let them, this, waking up Jane, had always been her job, always, since she had been just an intern and never had Jane harmed a hair on her head. until yesterday. She took a deep breath and walked in. Opened the curtains that she had given Jane as a gift after she was given the all clear sign about suicide, that being that she was unlikely to commit it.  
  
"Hey sleepy head, common, wake up, the sun is up and about." she couldn't get the usual cheerful tone, couldn't even pull the fake one of.  
  
"Mary." Jane just stated, looking directly at the nurse.  
  
"Yes?" Mary asked trying to sound like nothing had happened.  
  
"Now you know why I don't want to see my loved ones, I am afraid I'm going to kill them." Jane explained, stoically.  
  
"I. I forgive you, okay?" Mary said, now finally sounding sincere. Jane smiled, she couldn't have looked more grateful.  
  
"It's Chris." She said, after contemplating it for a second.  
  
"Your name?" Mary asked.  
  
"Yes, Christine actually, but I prefer being called Chris." Now it was Mary's turn to smile.  
  
"Well, Chris, does this mean I belong to the loved ones now?"  
  
"How do you figure that?"  
  
"Well, you hate Doc Arthur's guts but never even looked like you were going to do anything against him. And you are only afraid of hurting loved ones." Mary said, executing the power of deduction.  
  
"You're my friend, OK? And now you may make my bed." Chris grinned and moved to the chair to get the clothes Mary had brought with her.  
  
"Well, you just wait 'till breakfast I have a beautiful assortment of little pills ready and waiting for you." She knew it wasn't fair to tease her patient with the medicine she had to take every morning, but hey, it wasn't exactly fair to tease her about the making of beds!  
  
"Yay! Do you have the pretty colours again?" Chris asked sarcastically.  
  
"You may even get an orange if you're good and take them all." Mary said, playing along the game.  
  
"Wow, a real orange, you are so good to me." Chris said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Tomorrow there are going to be apples, I have heard a rumour about there going to be lollypops somewhere this month."  
  
"Really? Now I know this sounds sad but I am actually looking forward to that!" Chris exclaimed. Mary eyed her wearily.  
  
"Riiiiight." Mary said, not believing a word of it. Chris grinned  
  
"Had you going for a second." She said and winked at the nurse.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, just hurry up, will you? I have a lot more to do today." Mary sighed she was already going over the list in her head.  
  
"You're not the only one. Agnes is pretty scared again, I sat with her all day yesterday to make her feel a little safer, she is finally starting to talk to me about it." Chris told her friend.  
  
"You're doing really good with her, if you weren't a patient I think you could easily have become a nurse here, maybe a doctor if you're willing to study for it." Mary said.  
  
"But I am a patient." Chris stated softly and looked Mary directly in the eye. "Promise you won't tell anyone my name?'  
  
"Promise, though I think no one would be able to come up with your true identity from just your first name though."  
  
"I do. Come on, let's go, you have more beds to make and I have to eat and swallow those ugly little pills that are supposed to make my life better."  
  
"Hey, it's going to be alright." Mary softly said, then slipped out the door.  
  
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Well, it's easy, just go to city hall and look up every Christine between 35 and 45 years of age currently living in LA or having lived in LA up 'till 5 years and a day ago. Then start at the top and look at all the pictures. Easy!  
  
Mary sat there all night, working through a HUGE stack of files, until finally, at about 5AM her boyfriend called her.  
  
"Hey, you're not at your house so I thought I'd check in on you, see if you're all right." He said, hoping she wouldn't take it the wrong way and think he was stalking her or something.  
  
"I'm fine. Woah! Is it this late already? Uhm. Would you mind picking me up at city-hall? I know it's late just." Mary sheepishly said blessing her good fortune tomorrow was her day off.  
  
"No, I don't mind, I have worked the nightshift anyway, I am still somewhat awake. See you in 15 minutes, don't wait outside, I will come in."  
  
Mary smiled, he was always so protective. "Yeah, OK, thanks, see you." She said and put her phone away. She had still time to look through a couple more files.  
  
============  
  
"What are you looking for?" a voice suddenly asked from behind her.  
  
"Bobby! You scared the hell out of me!" Mary exclaimed then opened another file. That would be it, the last file for the night.  
  
"Nice to see you too, but what are you looking for if I may ask?" he insisted, smiling at her with his cure little dimples.  
  
"Someone I knew." Mary said, remembering her promise.  
  
Bobby picked up a file of one of the stacks on her table and flipped it open.  
  
"Aren't these supposed to be private?" he asked.  
  
"I have got clearance, when I first started I was often send here to find as much as possible on a patient." She explained "What are you looking at?" she then asked, wondering what he was reading.  
  
"Oh, I know this woman, well knew. I haven't seen her for a while though, she's my boss wife. I don't know the details but she left him pretty suddenly and then never signed the divorce papers he send her after a year of waiting for her!" he informed her, being a bit of a gossiper. He showed her the file it had a photo in it from a pretty young woman in police uniform. Mary gasped and pulled the file out of his hands, immediately she started reading.  
  
"You're not telling me she is one of your patients are you?" he asked, wearily.  
  
"No. I'm not telling you anything, I promised I wouldn't. Do you remember Jane, Jane Doe, the one that has been my personal quest for 5 years now?"  
  
"You're telling me..?"  
  
"I am not telling you anything, but maybe you could guess."  
  
"Chris is Jane? Geez! You have to be wrong! I used to work with her! For five years now? She seemed sane enough, she was an excellent cop!" he exclaimed, really shocked with this information.  
  
"Well, it seems to be. Wow, she was married, had a house, a good job, a happy life, this really didn't come at a good time for her." Mary muttered.  
  
"When would it be a good time? What does she have anyway? And why doesn't TC know?"  
  
"Because we have only known her as Jane Doe, she refused to reveal her real name, until this morning then she only gave me Chris." Mary defended herself. "And I can't give you information on her, that's privileged."  
  
"OK. Does this mean I can't tell TC?" he asked, unhappy about this prospect.  
  
"I promised her, you don't know the situation she really thinks it's best this way." Mary pleaded.  
  
Bobby slowly nodded. Mary skimmed the file of this Christine Kelly one more time and then stood up they were ready to go home.  
  
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Mary looked at her first patient sadly, she had gotten different med's again, suppressors, so she wouldn't get so violent anymore. It seemed to drain the spirit out or her, she cried a lot, forgot were she was and got scared easily. The drug may suppress her violent tendencies, but they didn't cure anything, they only seemed to make this woman's agony worse. And her pain was so great already...  
  
Seeing her friend look at her Chris tried to sit up, try to look like she had always done, but then a man fell from his chair and she ducked away into her corner again. Her mind wasn't working properly, and on some level she knew she didn't have to be scared but she was anyway. She wished someone would come and keep her safe...  
  
Mary fed this last patient his jelly and looked at Chris one more time, and despite her promise made a decision.  
  
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"Bobby? It's me, Mary. can I talk to you for a little bit?" she asked through the phone on her lunch break.  
  
"Yeah, sure, what is it, hon?" he asked, knowing from the sound of her voice that it was urgent.  
  
"I don't know if this really is something to talk about over the phone but. I don't know what to do about Chris! I mean, on the one hand she really needs the people she loves and hasn't seen in years, but on the other hand she really doesn't want to see them. So, I was thinking that, since she isn't the only one involved here, you could maybe carefully poll her husband, see what he thinks, if he still misses her and that kind of thing." she asked him, knowing it wouldn't be an easy thing to do.  
  
"This is really bothering you. So, yes, I will try it, for your sake, and TC's and Chris' of course. Just don't be mad if he figures out I know more alright? He is a police lieutenant, and usually they aren't stupid." He said, making sure she got the risks involved.  
  
"I know, so, you know how you are going to approach him yet?" she asked, if it was up to her she would know all the details then and there, preferably without a middle man but since that couldn't be the case she wanted to know everything about the middle man too.  
  
"No, but I have got to go now, I have to be on my bike in about ten seconds."  
  
"OK, hurry then, and be careful." She said.  
  
"Always am." He said and she knew he had put the phone down, probably after someone had signalled him. She put her phone away too and quickly ate her home-made lunch.  
  
Bobby nor Mary was aware of the figure standing by the filing cabinet that had overheard Bobby's side of the conversation. So neither could know the inner battle that suddenly enflamed her.  
  
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Monica was wondering what the right thing to do would be. She had heard Bobby talking to his girlfriend, she heard him saying that he knew more about Chris and TC but that he wasn't going to tell. Why would he be talking to his girlfriend about this? Monica asked herself, well, because she knows about the situation, by the sounds of it she had even brought it up, she was troubled by it. And what would he try exactly? Monica decided to keep her mouth shut for the moment and monitor Bobby closely, after all, she couldn't know exactly what was going on.  
  
End of Chapter 1.  
  
Did you like it? Do you even want me to continue? Tell me what I am doing wrong (and right :P).. In other words, review :D 


	2. Broken Angel Chapter 2

THANKS!!!! To Pacificbluegirl, chiquinta and Glory02, you three probably are the only ones reading my fics, you are the best! (PS does this mean we're gonna get another chapter of a second chance again??? And Chiquinta, why have you stopped writing?)  
  
Broken Angel chapter 2.  
  
Mary looked at the sleeping form of her primary patient once more. She imagined being in Chris' place, having to lock yourself up for fear of murdering your loved ones, having lived in this hell hole for five years with medication that only seemed to make it worse. But she couldn't be set free, for she would kill someone, and she couldn't be taken off medication either. So life, for Chris would remain a living hell. The only way it could possibly get worse if she actually had killed that husband of hers.  
  
===================  
  
"TC? Here are those files you wanted." Bobby said basically asking if he could enter. A distracted TC looked up at his sergeant, he missed Cory but when she was offered to be lieutenant of another district he could only be happy for her.  
  
"OK, just. uhm, put them on my desk, I'll get to them as soon as I have this done." He looked his desk over, it looked like a tornado had come and put every paper in the whole wide world on it, and then of course, more then half was in his computer.  
  
"Are you alright, boss?" Bobby asked, knowing that this was as good a time as any to start the questioning.  
  
"Yeah, sure, just catching up on about a years worth of paperwork." He said, knowing it was only this week's work and that next week the same thing would happen.  
  
"Could I. talk to you for a bit?" Bobby nervously asked, in his head going over the things he had thought of before.  
  
"Yeah, sure." TC said, happy to get a break from the paper and knowing that if his sergeant had a problem it had better be fixed sooner then later.  
  
"Well, I am dating this girl. Mary, and she is quite a bit younger then I am, 25 to be exact, that's her age, not the years younger then me and." He was getting more nervous by the second, why couldn't he just tell the man?  
  
"Well, as long as it's legal I don't see the problem. You can find love everywhere." TC said, not knowing he had given the other man a perfect opening.  
  
"You don't seem to, The last what. five years you have been on only two dates and that was because you needed someone to go with you to some official thing, both times were Cory so I don't know she even counts as a date for you."  
  
"I don't see how this has got anything to do with your situation." TC said, not feeling like talking about his own not very existing love life at the moment.  
  
"It's because. I am totally crazy about this girl, and I'm thinking I may ask her to marry me but I don't know, what if she isn't the right one? How did you know?"  
  
"I just knew I loved her and that she loved me, but don't take my for an example because my wife took off five years ago with some lame excuse and has disappeared."  
  
"But that doesn't say she didn't love you. Maybe she thought it would be for your own good or something." Bobby really couldn't stand this, but he had promised and as soon as he had called Mary he would go and tell TC.  
  
"Then she should have told me. But my advise to you is, don't do anything yet, you have just been dating for a couple of months, first get to know her a bit better and make sure she's the right one." TC said, and looked down on his files again, this conversation was over and they both knew it.  
  
====================  
  
Monica looked up at the lieutenant's office and wished she could hear what was going on in there. There was nothing she could do about it though; it was not like sticking your ear to that door would go unnoticed. With a little hesitation she sat back behind her computer and pulled up Mary Stephen's file, strictly illegal of course.  
  
She honestly hadn't expected what she found. Mary turned out to have been in foster care most of her life, her parents had died when she was only two years old, she had been placed in a foster home pretty quickly, but when she was 6 moved to another, she had been in 5 different home's by the time she was 13, then her brother had just turned 18 and became her legal guardian only to die two weeks later. The girl did put a positive spin on it though, when she decided to become a nurse she gave the reason: because I want to help, make people happy again. OK, so might be a little. make that a lot, naïve but it was a nice thought anyway. Two parking tickets were the only bad thing Monica could find on her, and that for a girl who had a rotten childhood. Monica was severely impressed but didn't trust it, call it instinct but she didn't trust this Mary so decided to dig deeper.  
  
The parents turned out clean, it was an unfortunate car accident that killed them both, the brother, Peter Stephens, was another story completely, he spent most his teenage years in Juvie, it was a miracle he even got custody of his baby sister but he managed to convince child services that he would make a good guardian. Only to be shot while robbing a store. Only now Monica's eyes popped out of her head, he wasn't shot by just anyone, but by navy lieutenant Christine Kelly! Was this what Bobby was on about on the phone? But why would TC give a damn about that? When someone robs a store, threatening the owner and customers sometime there aren't any other options but to shoot. So, if Mary knew that her boyfriend had once worked with her brother's killer that might cause some friction, nothing they couldn't handle though, and what had TC to do with it??? Did the girl want to know if his missing wife had ever mentioned her brother? If so, Bobby could just go up and ask. nothing to be so secretive about. Something about this was just all wrong, she just had to figure out what.  
  
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Chris lay in her bed in her room, staring at the ceiling. She slept a lot these days, another of the thousand and one side-effects. If it wasn't just too ironic and too sad all at once she would've said they were driving her crazy. Apparently she didn't need any help getting crazy. Quietly she wondered about her family, her dad, her other father. everyone. and of course TC was in her mind, he probably would have started a family with someone, and he was happy and in love with her. He would have noticed the first that she wasn't anywhere near the FBI, he would have searched for her, but he didn't find her, because she had never given her name. Then, finally he would have given up and have her declared dead or missing or something. Then he would have moved on, he would have found another woman, he would have stood by her while she delivered his babies. He would forget about the woman he once loved, the one that stabbed him in the back by just going AWOL. He would sometimes remember, but the memories would never be happy. She tried to push those thoughts out of her head, after all it was all her own fault, and he should be happy, even if it meant with someone else. That was after all the main reason she came here, wasn't it? So he could be happy. So he would be safe. But wasn't she allowed to miss him? 'Till death do us part. could he ever understand she had done this to keep them together? That it was for their own good? Sometimes, like today, she wished she could talk to him, explain him why. But she couldn't, it would only hurt him, he would despise her. When he married her he hadn't signed on for a homicidal nutcase, he wanted a strong woman, who knew how to laugh who wouldn't keep secrets, who loved him like no tomorrow. And she did love him that much, and once upon a time she had known how to laugh this place had just taken it from her, but being able to keep some sanity here. doesn't that make her a strong woman? More like the shadow of a strong woman. like a fallen porcelain angel, you were happy and proud about it when it was whole, but you shove it under the couch when it is broken, so no one will notice. But she had lied, there was no question about that, she had kept things from him and lied, looking him straight in the eye every time he asked of she was alright. So hear she sat, a broken angel, swept under a rug where no one would ever find her.  
  
She felt sorry for herself for a little while, and then her mind started up again. What if TC never stopped wondering where she was? It wouldn't be fair to him not ever knowing. And five years had gone by, it wasn't like he would move heaven and earth now to find her if she just gave him a little sign he needn't worry. But then again, if he wasn't worrying he might start after such word.  
  
===============  
  
Mary breathed in, then slowly exhaled. It was obvious that if she told TC of Chris' location that Chris should know, she wasn't stable enough to get those kind of surprises, that would just be irresponsible. Although, it would be so great to be able to see Chris' face when her hubby came walking through the double doors. But it would be less great for Chris to start hyperventilating or something. No she had to tell her, talk to her about it, and prepare her. But then again, what if Bobby found out that the husband had moved on? That he thought she was dead? Wouldn't it be better to let it rest then to have them both go through everything again?  
  
She shook her head and entered Chris' room without knocking.  
  
"What?" Chris asked looking lost for some reason.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about some things." Mary said, sitting down on the bed.  
  
"So talk." Chris said. Mary didn't know if she was paying attention but she started anyway.  
  
"I have done some digging. I found out some stuff. Like your last name." Mary fought the urge to close her eyes waiting for the impact of her words.  
  
"Why? Why would you do that? I told you my first name in confidence! You had no business prying into my files!" Chris lashed out.  
  
"Calm down! I just wanted to find out your medical history! And for that I needed your last name. I spend an entire going through countless files. Chris I just told my boyfriend no one else. I had to tell him because he picked me up and saw what I was doing. I swear I didn't tell anyone else. There is something I wanted to talk to you about though. Your husband."  
  
Chris paled and unconsciously stepped back.  
  
"He's a cop living on the beach in LA." she whispered, remembering Mary's description of her boyfriend.  
  
"No, it's not that, my boyfriend's name's Bobby." She cursed herself the moment the words left her mouth, Bobby knew Chris so Chris was bound to know Bobby. This conversation was not going like she had planned.  
  
"Bobby. How is he?" Chris asked, her mind was racing and she had trouble focusing. Mary knew, Mary knew everything, she was going to tell TC, he couldn't know! He'd be ashamed of her, pity her, be disgusted and then, she would kill him. She had been experiencing the dreams for so long now that it wasn't a maybe anymore, she would kill him, it was a fact.  
  
"He's fine. I think we should tell your husband, you need some help with your recovery, you can't fight this thing alone." she just blurted it out in the most un subtle way imaginable, but she needed to talk to Chris about it and if she didn't do it this way she knew she wouldn't do it at all.  
  
"I know that, that is why I checked myself in, I have you and the doc's to help me. Do not get even near my husband, and tell Bobby to keep his mouth shut." She ordered, it was obvious she wouldn't take no for an answer.  
  
"Chris just think about it." Mary tried to persuade her, beating herself up inside that she hadn't come better prepared.  
  
"I have thought about it and NO! You can not tell him! He may not come here, he can not see me like this!" To her own annoyance tears started trickling down her face, this never would have happened before.  
  
"Chris, you may have to face the possibility that he is going to come here. Maybe, just maybe he still cares enough about you to come see you, and if that happens you had better be prepared." Mary said as gently as she could.  
  
" Don't tell him Mary. I beg you don't tell him, it would break my heart." Chris said quietly, then she turned her back to the nurse, the conversation was over.  
  
================  
  
A week later everyone in the Looney bin had been confined to their rooms, one of the patients had come down with the flue and the nursing staff really didn't want the other patients to get it.  
  
Monica meanwhile tried her best to figure out the secret Bobby held from TC. She wasn't having much luck following him though, so eventually decided on a change of tactics.  
  
"Bobby, can I talk to you for a little bit?" Monica asked, as normally as she could muster at this time.  
  
"Sure, what is it?" he asked, looking up from his computer.  
  
"In private?" she persisted.  
  
"Oh, alright, I guess we can use TC's office, he's patrolling anyway." Bobby said and led the way up. When they were alone he faced her. "What?" he asked.  
  
"I know about Chris and your girlfriend." Monica said, and knew she had hit the bull's-eye when he visibly paled.  
  
"How do you know?" he asked, her words were just slowly seeping into his brain.  
  
"I over heard you talking with Mary, I didn't mean to eavesdrop or anything but." she said, pretending to be a little embarrassed.  
  
"Do you think we should tell him? I mean, he has a right to know. right?" he asked, probably happy he found someone to talk to about this.  
  
"I don't know, it could hurt him." Safe bet, if it involved Chris it was bound to be hurtful to TC.  
  
"Yeah, but I would want to know if it was Theresa or Mary who had disappeared. Even after five years I would want to know if they were alright, even if it could hurt me, it would hurt more not to know." He said, clearly troubled.  
  
Monica's mind was racing, so he knew where she was. Probably from Mary and for some reason he couldn't tell TC, she had to find out where Chris was and why Bobby wouldn't tell.  
  
"We could go see her." she suggested, knowing it was a risky thing to say, it could expose her if Chris was no where in the neighbourhood.  
  
"You know, that is a great idea! What would I do without you?" He smiled at her, relieved to finally have a course of action.  
  
"OK, when do we go?" she asked, letting him name a date so she could estimate how much time it would take.  
  
"Tomorrow after work? I'll have a chance to tell Mary then, and she to tell Chris." Bobby said.  
  
Now it finally became clear to Monica, Chris was in the Looney bin, she had to be, why else would Mary be able to tell her anything? She was barely able to keep the shock of her face, masking it with a little smile.  
  
"Tomorrow it is."  
  
===================  
  
Evil cliffhanger *grins* well, wanna know what happens? Review! :D 


	3. Broken Angel Chapter 3

TTTHHHHAAANNNNKKKKKSSSSSSSS! To Klaar, Pacificbluegirl, Chiquinta and guy You are the greatest ever. And so you know reviews do help, there is some Cory in this chapter and more coming in the next.  
  
A/N: Wow, it's like the universe is trying to tell me something, first I just zap onto a movie about a girl in mental institution (girl, interrupted) then today when I was walking in a protest march kinda thing (looong story) there were biker cops! Seriously and one of them looked like Chris, sadly none of them looked like TC or any of the other guys but I was like :O and when the march was over I ran (with sore feet and everything) back home and jumped behind my computer to bring you this chapter as soon as possible.  
  
Broken Angel Chapter 3  
  
TC was picking at his food under Cory's watchful eye, he had dinner with her and her husband once a week, every Monday. To keep in touch and probably so she could keep an eye on him.  
  
"OK, I'll bite, what is it?" she asked the obviously troubled man.  
  
"Nothing, I'm fine. the dinner is great!" he said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, no a lot.  
  
"There is something alright. Just get it off your chest now so you will at least be able to enjoy desert, Paul made tiramisu." Cory said, hoping to lure him out of his bad mood.  
  
TC sighed dramatically. "It's Bobby, he has been bugging me about Chris for a week now. It just made me realize that it has been 5 years. And still no word." He kept looking at his plate, afraid of Cory's reaction. Chris' disappearance was directly attached to _that_ night, to the baby, the second baby Cory lost.  
  
"Maybe. Maybe it is time you let her go. She might be dead, she might be alive but she isn't coming back, ever. You need to move on, she would have wanted you to."  
  
Paul looked from his wife to her and now his friend too, he knew who they were talking about but opted to stay out of it, content with just following the conversation.  
  
"No, she would have told me, she would have divorced me." He denied.  
  
"Like she told you where she was going? And why. Just face it TC, you didn't know her as well as you thought you did, none of us did. I have stood by you defending her but I can't anymore. We both have to face that she isn't coming back, ever, and you have to move on with your life. It has been five years, if she had been working undercover for the FBI it probably would have finished by now, but they don't even have her on record. She ran TC, we don't know why but it was her choice, I always hoped she'd come back, she was my friend but now I know she won't." Cory said, hoping to get through to him somehow.  
  
"5 years Cory, it seemed like eternity but it has passed, I knew her less then that. But I can't get her out of my mind, I can't get her out of my system. I know I am being a fool to wait around for someone that doesn't want me, but I love her Cor, I still love her. And I have to hope and dream that someday she will come back, it is the only thing I have left." He was fighting back tears, there had been to many shed over her already, why couldn't he just stop loving her? Five years was too long to live off of memories, he wanted to hold her, talk to her, yell at her for staying away so long, he just wanted to know if she was alright. He wanted to be released out of his living hell but the only one who could do that was missing.  
  
"TC, you're a good man, any girl would be happy to have you. Start dating, find someone new. Just try." Cory pleaded, seriously worried about her friend.  
  
"Listen to her TC. I may have not known your wife but I know you, what you are doing to yourself is not healthy." Paul had decided to chip in and help his wife a little.  
  
"I am fine, don't worry about me. I am just not ready to let go of her yet, believe me I know 5 years is a long time to be pining for someone but maybe I am just not the hasty kind a guy, I'm doing better then I was a year ago. Sometimes, whole days go by where I don't even think about her, but when people ask about her or without any reason at all I just think about her, and get a little depressed. No worries, really." He tried to assure them, but not giving in.  
  
Cory smiled half a smile and nodded, then went into the kitchen to get the desert.  
  
======================  
  
"Oh! Bobby! I totally forgot you were coming!" Mary flapped her hands nervously. "There has been a little outbreak of the flu, stomach flu to be exact, it's not pretty, are you sure you want to see her today? She hasn't really have it but it's just a matter of time and this place is basically a walking germ at the moment, plus I haven't exactly told her that you are coming." Mary rattled, very nervous about this unforeseen glitch in her plan.  
  
Bobby looked at Monica, she nodded slightly, they both needed some answers and now that they were here they weren't willing to wait any longer.  
  
"We would still like to come." Bobby said, more calm then he felt.  
  
"Well, alright then, please follow me. She is in her own room, all the patients are, we want to limit the outbreak as good as possible. It's not just the vomit but they can't take their pills now either, so if you pardon the pun, it is a mad house." She quickly walked down the hall, through the double doors, the entrance to the psych ward, locked it behind them and into another hall, she halted by the third door on the left and unlocked and opened it.  
  
"Jane?" Mary asked, knowing there could be others around to overhear.  
  
"What is it Mary? Don't you have barf to mop up or something?" The chagrined voice of Chris floated out of the door, both Bobby and Monica recognized it instantly.  
  
"Well yes, so I'll just leave you alone with your guests then." Mary said, and let the two, who were suddenly really nervous, in. She exchanged a few words with Bobby and then actually left, they were happy she didn't lock the door behind them.  
  
Chris payed no notice to them, she sat on her bed scribbling something in a little book. Then when she felt two gazes ret upon her slowly looked up. Her eyes widened in shock and she jumped up, now standing on the bed she breathed "What the hell?" and just stared at them.  
  
"Hey Chris." Monica said shyly, it wasn't like they were great friends when they had worked together and suddenly she felt kind of stupid being the one to visit her.  
  
Bobby smiled nervously as some sort of greeting, not knowing what else to say or do.  
  
Chris put down the book she was scribbling in and sat back down on the bed, totally shocked. An uncomfortable silence followed.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Chris finally asked, as uncomfortable in this situation as her 'guests'.  
  
"Bobby found out you were here, we didn't know what to do, so we thought we'd visit before deciding on anything." Monica explained, looking mostly at the wall and floor, only sporadically looking at Chris.  
  
"You shouldn't do anything." Chris softly said,  
  
"Why not? You don't look all that crazy, sane enough anyway to talk to TC, he doesn't know what is going on, he doesn't know if you are dead or alive." Bobby said, really feeling for his LT.  
  
"You don't know what's going on with me either. And I can only hope it will stay that way."  
  
"You are ashamed." Monica concluded, then almost jumped when she realized she had said it out loud.  
  
"Yes, just. tell me, how is he? And Cory? And the station?" Chris only now asked the questions she had been asking herself for five years now.  
  
"The station is alright, nothing much has changed, Cory got married, she got promoted to lieutenant and transferred, she has her own station now. She and her husband are waiting for an adoption child, after her last miscarriage she is now totally incapable of having children, but so is her husband. His name's Paul." Monica told but didn't go on, not knowing how to describe TC's situation.  
  
"Miscarriage? Another one?" Guilt washed over Chris' face, it was obvious she felt she should have been there for her best friend. Well, they used to be best friends.  
  
"She's pretty much over it, and really looking forward to adopting." Monica told and looked at Bobby before falling silent once more.  
  
"And TC?" Chris asked, getting nervous when neither really wanted to answer "He's hurt isn't he? What happened to him?" she had gotten off the bed and had approached them, they unconsciously backed away a bit.  
  
"No, physically he is fine, it's just. He hasn't been on a real date in years, he can't move on not knowing what happened to you. He feels incredibly guilty for not realizing you were lying. For not finding you." Bobby admitted, Chris looked down to her hands.  
  
"I never wanted to hurt him." She whispered "never."  
  
Bobby put a hand on her shoulder. "We know." He told her, figuring she could use a little comfort.  
  
Suddenly a wail erupted from the hallway, Chris looked up and pushed past the two cops rushing to the origin of the wailing. A girl somewhere between 15 and 20 years old was backing into a corner, she seemed to be afraid of something but there was nothing there. Chris rushed over to her.  
  
"Agnes, I'm here honey, come here." The girl, Agnes, looked at her, whimpered and then fled behind Chris' back.  
  
"He's here again Jane, don't let him get me, please don't let him." The girl begged, she clutched the shirt on Chris back and tried as best she could to hide behind her.  
  
"I won't let him honey. Don't be scared, I won't let anything hurt you." Chris gently said, she walked backwards until they had rounded a corner, then she turned around and took the crying girl in her arms.  
  
"Is he gone now?" Chris asked, the girl nodded, then screamed. Chris cringed from the loud shrieking noise so close to her ear. Her gaze followed Agnes' pointing finger and saw Monica and Bobby.  
  
"Ssshh, honey, it's alright, they won't hurt you, they are friends." She took Agnes' hand and put her other hand on the girls shoulder, they were facing the same way now, so Chris pointed with their entwined hands.  
  
"Look, that's Bobby and that is Monica, they have come to visit me." Chris explained.  
  
"Are you sure?" Agnes asked, looking scared yet suspecting.  
  
"We won't hurt you, we wouldn't dream of it." Bobby said, not sure if that was the appropriate thing to say, but trying something anyway.  
  
The girl didn't seem convinced.  
  
Only now two orderlies came semi-rushing to the scene, they looked tired, probably because half the staff was out sick as well as the patients, so they had more difficult patients to deal with without a proper staff.  
  
"What are you two doing outside your rooms? And who the hell are you?" One of them asked, pretty cross.  
  
"Take it easy, they came to visit me, their from one of those charity organizations that keep people company, Mary set it up. And Agnes is out of her room because she was afraid, now stop whining and take her back there!" Chris ordered, as if she was the boss in stead of the patient.  
  
"Ma'am, sir, I am sorry but you are going to have to leave, maybe in a week or so when this flu blows over you can return and visit all you want but for now we are just too busy. Albert, you take Agnes and Jane and I'll escort these two out." The orderly that appeared to be in charge said. The other one nodded and stayed silent.  
  
====================  
  
"So what do we do now?" Monica asked when they stepped out of the hospital building.  
  
"Well, we'll just have to wait another week I guess. But I was thinking, I mean, who knows both TC and Chris better then both of us?" He asked.  
  
"Of course! You are brilliant!" Monica exclaimed  
  
"Don't I know it." Bobby grinned.  
  
=======================  
  
"Cory? Are you there? Well, just call me or Bobby back when you do have time because we have something important to discuss with you. You have my number." Then the beep of the answering machine cut Monica off, she turned to face Bobby "So, no there is nothing left to do but wait." She sighed.  
  
======================  
  
"Up and at em sunshine!" Mary called, way too cheerful into Chris' still dark room. But Chris didn't stand up, she looked pale and the waste bucket reeked of vomit, yet another victim of the stomach flu.  
  
"Oh, honey, I'll just get you a bucket alright? And some water." Mary said and walked off the nearest supply closest worried out of her mind. Chris wouldn't be able to take her pills and she was very afraid of what might happen because of it.  
  
=======================  
  
THREE DAYS LATER  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Cory yelled in the general direction of Monica and Bobby.  
  
"We just found out and we didn't know what to do, cause she didn't want anyone to know but we feel we should tell someone so. maybe you would know." Bobby stammered, he felt somewhat intimidated under Cory's vicious glare.  
  
"She's gone bonkers?!?" She asked, mad and exasperated at the same time.  
  
"Well, she seemed quite sane when we were there, but that was just for about five minutes and we did most of the talking." Monica said, hoping to avoid most of Cory's anger this way.  
  
"You have seen her." Cory stated, it seemed like she was truly and utterly shocked and didn't know what to say or do.  
  
"Yes, just about five minutes though."  
  
"Well, TC has to know, he has a right to know, why didn't you go to him in the first place?" she asked, and started pacing, mimicking her mind that was racing around in circles as well.  
  
"Because she doesn't want anyone to know, you should have seen her reaction when it was just us!" Bobby protested.  
  
"I have to see her, take me to see her!" Cory ordered, Bobby and Monica shared a look and then nodded to Cory.  
  
===========================  
  
"Sorry miss no one is allowed to visit at the moment, there is a bit of a flu outbreak back there, the natives are a bit restless and we are undermanned, just give me your phone number and I will call you as soon as you can visit." An elderly woman behind the front desk said.  
  
"But I need to see her! She was my best friend and then she suddenly disappeared and now they tell me she ended up here! I HAVE to see her!" Cory pleaded quite desperately.  
  
"Oh dear, what is the patients name, I will look her up and take a look in her stats and tell you what isn't classified, alright?" The woman, very granny like suggested.  
  
"Yes, please thank you. It's Christine Kelly, but she's called Chris." Cory muttered.  
  
"Sorry deary, she isn't here, she isn't in the files." The old woman said, unhappy to bring this bad news.  
  
"Wait, they kept on calling her Jane while we were here last time." Bobby remembered  
  
"Jane? Oh! Jane! She has been here for quite a while now, so her name is Christine Kelly eh? The doctors will be very pleased to hear this now they can finally look up her files. Let's see, she has never been properly diagnosed because no one knows what she is suffering from, we just know it is bad. And that is all I can tell you without breaking confidentiality completely."  
  
"So she is here. How long, can you tell me how long?" Cory pressed.  
  
"Well, I suppose so, 5 years and a couple of weeks." The old lady informed her.  
  
"Promise you will call as soon as we can se her?" Cory asked and the old lady nodded nicely  
  
"Of course dear. Now run along home."  
  
=========================  
  
"Come on Chris, just swallow these, you have to take these pills, just these nothing else. please Chris." Mary begged and held one little yellow pills before her, when Chris turned her head she put the pill in Chris water and watched it dissolve. Then picked up the glass  
  
"Well just make sure you don't dehydrate then will you?" She said and shoved the glass under Chris' face.  
  
"Mary. Why do you want me to eat that pill? Please I'll just throw it up and I heard the other nurses, the dosages aren't right anymore, not now I haven't eaten anything but a few crackers in three days. So just go away, leave me alone, I want to sleep." Chris whined, then she sighed pulled the bucket closer and started retching in it, her stomach was empty already so only very sour spit came out, giving no relief to her sore stomach.  
  
"Chris please. Just do it." Mary pleaded.  
  
"Go away!" Chris yanked the blankets over her head so she wouldn't have to see the water, at the moment even water made her nauseous, she had her better moments when she could eat a cracker or two but now was not one of them.  
  
Mary yanked back the covers and turned Chris face towards her, then forced her mouth open as she was thought in nursing school, she poured the water in now wishing she had kept the pills in their original form. Chris refused to swallow, she knew that something was wrong with this, very wrong. She punched Mary in the face and pushed her off, then spit out the water.  
  
"The hell are you doing?!" she shrieked and backed away from Mary knowing that in her current condition she wouldn't be a match for anyone.  
  
"You need to take your pills!" Mary shouted.  
  
"I can't Mary, I can't." Chris cried out, hoping the only friend she had had for these last few years would understand, and would stop. Chris just didn't understand.  
  
"But this ruins everything." Mary said, and for one second she looked like a fragile little girl.  
  
"I'll get better, even if I don't swallow those pills for a little while." Chris assured her, thinking it was this that Mary was talking about.  
  
"Just stay in your room Chris, and don't talk to anyone but me." Mary told her, then calmly left the room.  
  
That wouldn't be a very hard thing to do, her door was locked and Mary was the only nurse that tended her, the others all had their own little projects, and because of the flu she couldn't see her doctor. Chris crawled back into her warm bed and didn't think about Mary for a long time, she just wanted to sleep and feel better when she woke up.  
  
=============  
  
AGAIN THREE DAYS LATER  
  
TC was bored, he was sick of paperwork, truly and utterly sick of it, so he had delegated it to Bobby. OK, so it wasn't really fair, at least that man had some form of personal life but then again, life wasn't fair and he hadn't become lieutenant because of the view. Well partly because of the view but mostly so he would be able to do more good, get more power, get paid better and then maybe the view. Now you see just about how bored he was, so his mind started wondering, and wondering and wondering away. Wondering all the way back to his childhood, all the good days and the bad days, he didn't remember most of the average days, then skipped to high school, and onwards yet. Some people say you see your whole life flash by you when you die, well I don't know if that's true but you must have had a pretty short or just way uneventful life because it took TC two hours just to reach 'The good old days' he had a picture of the old team hanging in his office. He had thought they would go on forever at the time, but they didn't.  
  
He sighed and forced his thoughts away, but they lingered on one face in that picture. His wife's, she was still his wife after all. He decided it was too long ago that he had thought about her like that, remembered the happy things. There had been so many happy days, but even more lonely days. It had been a while since he ran her name through the computer, he did that some times, just to know he hadn't given up, that he would be looking for eternity and then some. So it was a huge surprise that anything other then her birth records, military and police files popped up. A hospital. A catholic hospital??? That meant one of two things, 1 she was hurt and had no money to pay for treatment or 2. She had become a nun. He looked at the black letters on the white background, and then dug up the nerve to click on it.  
  
Christine Kelly-Callaway aka Jane Doe.  
  
She had been hiding there, why else would she also be known as Jane Doe? But something had happened, he read on, she had been there the whole time and only now they knew her name. Five years, in a hospital? How serious was this? He read some more, then froze. She was in the mental ward.  
  
Bobby opened the door to TC's office hoping that his LT would take some of the dreadful paperwork back, he was ready to beg and promise he would never make fun of paperwork ever again. But then he saw TC's face he wore the most peculiar expression Bobby had ever seen, it was somewhere between horror, hope fear and joy.  
  
"Boss?" Bobby carefully asked. TC looked around and saw Bobby, the blond man really looked like he had seen a ghost or something.  
  
"Chris. She's in LA! She in LA for heaven's sake!" TC squawked and pointed at the screen as if making Bobby read it would make it more real.  
  
"I've got to go." TC jumped up and rushed out of his office, Bobby chased him out.  
  
==============  
  
Chris looked somewhat like a skeleton, but she felt better then she had done in a while, she hadn't at any nightmares during her illness that was a new record, she really wanted to talk to her therapist. For the first time in years she was getting her hopes up.  
  
"Chris, are you feeling better?" Mary asked. Chris suspected that she had those two yellow pills with her again so she shook her head, she just didn't trust Mary anymore, she as doubting when she totally ratted on her with the name thing (the whole hospital already knew) and when she kept on trying to force those two little yellow pills into her one way or the other Chris just stopped trusting her completely.  
  
"Are you well enough for some crackers?" Mary asked in her own kind voice.  
  
Chris stomach betrayed her by grumbling right at that moment.  
  
"Just one, I don't want to overdo it." Chris said, but didn't really dare eat the food, like she hadn't dared to eat or drink anything Mary had given her in these last couple of days.  
  
"OK, eat up then." Mary watched Chris intently and for the first time Chris felt she was a hostage not to herself but to her nurse. She let the cracker drop.  
  
"What is in those pills that you want me to have them so badly Mary?" She asked. Mary shook her head.  
  
"Don't worry about it alright?" Then she turned and locked the doors, she calmly turned around again and faced Chris, slowly she walked in her direction. Chris felt the tension rise in a very unpleasant way, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her hands balled themselves to fist as if on their own accord.  
  
"You know I had this all planned out, there is just one more thing." Mary gently said.  
  
"What have you planned Mary?" Chris asked, and started backing away.  
  
"Why your destruction of course."  
  
======================  
  
Well, now you know why I don't like Mary ;) Please review, I live off reviews, now if you'll excuse me, I have another chapter to write :D 


	4. Broken Angel Chapter 4

THANKSSS! To my beloved reviewers, every time I get one my day gets a little bit brighter :)  
  
AN: this chapter isn't as good as the rest of the chapters, I do apologize for it but it is an essential part of the story so I couldn't just leave it out.  
  
Broken Angel Chapter 4  
  
Chris stepped back from the younger woman that suddenly seemed to hate her. Why would she hate her?  
  
"Why.?" Chris asked, despising her own weakness when tears started forming in her eyes.  
  
"You ruined my life just as I was getting it in order again, I thought I'd return the favour." It was scary not because she laughed maniacally but because she didn't, she still had that sweeter then pie voice and smile plastered on her face.  
  
"I didn't even know you before I came here!" Chris said, hoping to talk some sense in the girl yet.  
  
"But you knew my brother, he was just a teenager when you shot him. He may not have been perfect but he was doing what he could and you shot him! You killed him and ruined my life!" Mary shouted, not caring who heard.  
  
"When? I don't remember him!"  
  
"They even offered you a medal for it, but you said you were just doing your job and refused to take it, you were in the navy then."  
  
Chris gasped when she remembered.  
  
"He was robbing a store, threatened to shoot someone, then he started shooting for real but he wasn't a great shot, I hit him in the hand and in his thigh. He passed out and later died in the hospital from loss of blood. I had to do that or someone else could have been hurt! He was the bad guy! He was waving his gun around, he started shooting."  
  
"He was just 18 years old! He was everything I had! He was just trying to take care of me. And now you have even ruined my revenge, when is it enough? After all the time and work I put into this you just have to go and get sick!" Mary exclaimed.  
  
"What have you been giving me? How long have you been giving me that stuff?" Chris asked, even at this precarious time she was relieved to finally find out that she wasn't mad.  
  
"Something I cooked up myself. I have been planning this for so long, I always found something to put it in, back then, when you weren't in the hospital yet, you needed only one a week you have become more resilient over the years and I kept on increasing the dose, it wasn't very hard to do you just took them with the rest of your medicine. I was planning this for so long."  
  
"What did you want me to do?" Chris asked, dreading to hear the answer.  
  
Mary giggled "I was to increase the dose and then bring your hubby by one morning, I wanted you to kill him."  
  
Chris was shocked, she trembled like a leaf, fear and malnutrition getting control.  
  
"But now you have ruined it you serve me very little purpose. I want to get out of this dump, I want to go see the world and I cannot leave you here to blab everything you know. You have been a pain in my @$$ long enough."  
  
"What are you going to do to me?" Chris asked, stalling, dragging it out so maybe someone would come by and unlock the door or something.  
  
"Kill you, what else, and don't worry, I will swing by your dear husband and kill him too, of course I could just go get him and kill him before your eyes but I think it will be more fun if you two never see each other again. I will give him a message something like: Chris sent me. And of course hubby dearest will let me in and then I will kill him in your name. Very dramatic don't you think?" Mary asked, her bright eyes twinkled as if filled with nothing more then a bit of mischief, not murder, abduction and possible torture.  
  
Chris really didn't feel the need to answer but had to think of something to stall the younger woman, maybe even talk her out of killing TC. OK so it was a long shot, she had to try something!  
  
"I think it isn't very original, I mean you have thought out this great plan and to finish it with something plain like that would just decrease the whole thing." Chris said, trying not to look terrified.  
  
"Well, I really don't care about that right now. Just be a dear and swallow these pills will you." In stead of just the two yellow little pills she held up a handful, clearly this would mean an overdose.  
  
"No." Chris said, her thoughts were racing, trying to think of something, a chance to save herself. Screaming wouldn't help, it was a common sound around here. She was too weak to fight the nurse and the door was locked so she wouldn't be able to run. Maybe screaming was her best option after all, it was her only option.  
  
"Cone one Christine you are not going to make a fuss, are you?" Mary asked still holding out the pills. "I am sorry I haven't got a glass of water for you."  
  
Chris tossed the pills right out of Mary's hand, choosing not to scream until she had no other options what so ever, it would only aggravate the other woman more.  
  
"You silly girl! Well I am not going to pick those up." Mary said, her tone chiding, then she reached into her pocket again and pulled more pills out.  
  
"Where do you get this stuff? Isn't the drug cabinet supposed to be locked and checked every day?" Chris asked, nervously trying to stall her seemingly imminent death.  
  
"I have my ways, don't worry about it. Now take the pills." Her voice got more urgent and her face more stern.  
  
"At least let me die outside then. Just in the garden. I don't want to die in here." Chris pleaded, but knew Mary wouldn't be stupid enough to grant this request.  
  
==============  
  
TC had jumped into his car but before he could drive off Bobby and Monica had jumped in with him, he didn't feel like staying to chat about the deeper reasons of his officers to follow their leader like this so just stepped on the gas and raced off. Bobby gave him directions.  
  
Monica in the mean time had pulled out her phone and hurriedly called Cory, telling her TC had figured it out himself.  
  
===============  
  
Finally they had made it, but in stead of parking his car TC just left it standing right in front of the hospital and sprinted in, Bobby sighed and sprinted after him while Monica had the presence of mind to put the car away.  
  
Cory also swerved onto the hospitals parking lot in a squad car, she parked it on four different parking spaces at the same time but honestly couldn't care less about it. She and Monica sprinted after the men who had vanished behind the hospital doors some moments ago.  
  
They found TC yelling at the old lady to let him in, he looked like he was about to fall apart and cry, the old lady however just looked chagrined.  
  
"Now sir you cannot just barge in there, there are no visitors allowed during this time because of an outbreak of the flu. Unless you want to hospitalize yourself of course." She said, very disturbed by the scene he was making.  
  
"I just need to see my wife!" He yelped and just as Cory and Monica caught up and were making attempts to calm him down someone came through the double doors of the mental ward he bolted for the opened doors, with an apologetic shrug to the old lady who no doubt was calling security by now they other three ran after him.  
  
Bobby whistled hard when TC entered the wrong hallway and pointed into the right one, then led TC to the right door before stepping aside to let the man in, not realizing the door could be locked. But it was and when it didn't open immediately TC got all set to bash it in when Cory signalled Bobby to stop him. She stepped up to him.  
  
"TC calm down, play cool I am going to get this door open." She hissed and then stepped back, TC nodded but didn't stop pacing in front of the door.  
  
Cory went in search for an orderly or nurse, when she had finally found one she flashed her badge and identified herself as a police lieutenant.  
  
"We need to speak to the patient in that room-" Cory pointed in the direction of their group "-immediately, we would appreciate it if you opened the door now, this is a matter of life and death."  
  
==============  
  
Chris suddenly heard voices outside as did Mary who turned her head to listen.  
  
"HELP! HELP ME! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!" Chris screamed, then Mary dove on top of her to silence her or so Chris thought anyway.  
  
"HEEELP ME!" Mary suddenly screamed, confusing Chris to no end, a key turned in the lock and Mary suddenly turned them around, only then Chris got it, Mary was making it seem like it was she who was attacked so she jumped back. Too late.  
  
==============  
  
TC got even more frantic when he heard her voice on the other side of the door screaming for help, he was lucky the orderly immediately went to unlock the door or he probably would have tried walking through it. They heard another scream for help, another voice this time and the orderly hurried to push open the door.  
  
They all saw. Chris was lying on top of a frantic looking woman, TC has the bagging feeling he had seen her before but couldn't place her, his attention was more focused on Chris anyway, who jumped off of the other woman the moment the door opened. The other woman sobbed and rushed over to Bobby, launching herself in his arms.  
  
Only now Chris looked their way, she was trembling like a leaf, she was too thin and her blue eyes were widened in fear. Her eyes rested on him, he stood there, frozen in place. He had imagined his reunion with her many times and somehow none of them were even remotely like this.  
  
"She wants me dead. TC, believe me she wanted to kill me and she will come after you too." She said, her voice surprisingly clear. The orderly stood ready to restrain her if necessary but when she didn't seem to move he relaxed.  
  
"Remember where you are, sir." He said, making sure TC doubted Chris words.  
  
"Randall! You know me, you know my case. I am not delusional, and I do not lie. She tried to kill me, to give me an overdose! She said I killed her brother and need to pay for it." Chris said, trying to make them understand Mary's true nature.  
  
"She attacked me. AGAIN! I really thought she was going to kill me this time." Mary sobbed against Bobby's chest. For him there was no question who he believed.  
  
Chris picked something up from the floor, a couple of pills, there lay several more around her.  
  
"And how do you explain these then, Mary?" Chris whispered.  
  
"How should I know how you get all those pills? You probably cheated and didn't swallow all your pills and saved them up or something!" Mary said, still clinging to Bobby.  
  
"TC, Cory you know me. I am telling you now that woman is dangerous. She wanted me to suffer and then kill me. She planned this whole thing, I am not crazy. Please believe me." Tears started streaking her face, she imagined judgement day would feel something like this.  
  
"Chris." he said, then stepped forward and enveloped her in a hug. "I want to believe you." He whispered to her.  
  
Monica cleared her throat.  
  
"Now I don't know what this means or doesn't mean but I think I have to say that Chris did shoot Mary's brother when he was robbing a store, she was still in the Navy then." Monica pointed out.  
  
More nurses started appearing at the scene and after the orderly, Randall, had explained the situation the head nurse cleared her throat to get some attention.  
  
"We will investigate this matter, now if all the 'guests' would please go away maybe some of the peace will return to this place. Now I assure you I will personally see to it that Mary and Jane err Chris will not be allowed alone in the same room together." She told everyone, not happy about this spectacle in her ward.  
  
Chris and Mary were both still clinging to their guys both looking very much like the victim.  
  
"Can't I stay? Just for a little while?" TC asked the nurse, hoping the harsh looking woman would let him stay with his long lost wife. He felt an overwhelming urge to protect her, she was clinging to him with what little strength she had, he found it really hard to believe that she could have attacked anyone.  
  
"No, Chris here obviously needs some rest. Just leave your name and phone number at the front-desk and we will contact you when you can visit." The nurse said and started shooing everyone out of the room.  
  
"I will come back for you Chris." He told her, and kissed the top of her head. He hated the thought of leaving her after finding her but the nurse was right she did need her rest and probably wasn't up to having that conversation with him he had been waiting five years for.  
  
"I'll hold you too that. Just please believe me, she is a psycho, she knows her way around drugs so watch what you eat." Chris pleaded, she watched him as he looked at her one more time before turning away. He had grown older, his face looked a little more serious but he was still the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Her knees were feeling a little wobbly as she fell in love with him all over again.  
  
"I love you." She softly told him, she realized now might not be the perfect time to say that but she didn't know how long she had to live and she wanted him to know.  
  
"I love you too." He answered, a smile forming on his all too serious face.  
  
"Sir?" the nurse said, standing by the door gesturing for him to get out. He nodded and complied, over the nurse's shoulder Chris saw Cory standing, looking at her. Chris brought up her hand in a little wave, Cory returned the wave and smiled warmly, then TC turned around also and smiled. She felt warmed by their smiles, hopeful that Mary wouldn't be able to get her or them, but then the door slammed shut, locking her up away from her loved ones.  
  
Chris slept for most of the day, and awoke with an appetite, it was the first time she actually wanted to eat something in days. She stepped to the door and only remembered it was locked when she tried to open it, usually Mary would look after her at times like these, making sure she was alright and that she didn't need something. She looked down on the pills still scattered over the floor, evidence that it wasn't her best interest Mary had in mind. She could only hope TC would still have enough faith in her to believe her, or at least would think the evidence was enough to make up his mind. And while he was watching his back she would stay here like a sitting duck? She had always thought staying here was the solution so never tried to escape, but now the very reason she was in here, her alleged madness, turned out to be false and TC or anyone else were no longer in any danger from her. So why stay to be butchered? She'd have to wait for the cover of night though, in the mean time she could work on the door.  
  
============  
  
An awkward silence filled the room around the table, TC and Bobby although trying to stay polite were glaring at each other, the girls stood ready to jump in between if the two decided to fight it out.  
  
"How can you even think Mary would do such a thing? You don't know her! In any other case who would you sooner believe the nurse or the patient? We are talking about a mental ward here TC, you wouldn't believe all the stories the patients there conjure up!" Bobby came close to yelling, he needed the other man to see that he was right, why wouldn't he just listen?  
  
"It isn't just some patient, this is Chris you're talking about! She had evidence, there was a motive, means and opportunity, it was Chris that yelled for help first, Mary probably figured she was about to be busted and then started yelling. Come on Bobby, can't you see reason?" TC was as desperate to convince the other man as Bobby.  
  
"What about Chris? She had means and opportunity and you know that crazy people don't need motives. She has attacked Mary before."  
  
"Did she seem crazy? Sick, tired and scared yes but everything she said seemed reasonable enough." TC wanted to say more but Bobby interrupted him in this heated conversation  
  
"That's the danger! They don't always look mad, but she is in there for a reason, you just have to accept that!"  
  
"Guys! Knock it off, you aren't going to agree on this so just agree to disagree OK?" Cory intercepted fearing what the men might do to each other if she didn't.  
  
TC seemed to want to say something but changed his mind and just turned his back and walked away, Cory followed him into his office knowing he needed someone to blow off steam against and figuring that these days she would be the only volunteer.  
  
"You believe me right?" he asked as soon as they entered his office, he started pacing.  
  
"I don't know, we have all changed in the time she has been away and you know as well as I do she started changing even before she went away, but that doesn't dismiss that at one time I did trust her with my life and although she's in the loony bin she knows evidence when she sees it. I mean, she's still my friend and I want to believe her but Bobby did have a point." Cory hoped TC wouldn't seek to continue the discussion he had been having with Bobby with her. Her wish was granted, but if it was a good thing.  
  
"You have been there before, all of you have." TC stated, his very posture demanding an answer.  
  
"I just went as far as the front desk, Bobby and Monica have seen her before yes. I wanted to see her before telling you, Bobby and Monica said that she said she didn't want to see you and that she didn't want you to know where she was." Cory tried to explain, he just didn't seem to want to listen.  
  
"What is this? One big conspiracy? She is my WIFE! Why am I always the last to know? And now she is in trouble. Whether that is as victim or not we'll establish later. You are my friend Cory, you should have told me." Towards the end of his words he got a little more in control of himself but the urgency never left his eyes or voice.  
  
"I know TC, I should have." Cory said, now actually feeling guilty for not having done it.  
  
===== that night=====  
  
"What are you doing?" someone behind Chris asked as she was trying to sneak away, she froze and nearly had a heart attack for a second she thought it was Mary but then realized who it really was and turned around signalling for the other to be quiet.  
  
"Agnes, I need to you be quiet alight?" she whispered, the girl nodded as if entrusted with some kind of honourable quest.  
  
"What are you going to do?" The girl whispered so softly Chris could hardly hear her.  
  
"I have to go away." Chris said, she understood the girl probably wouldn't take it very well but she couldn't lie to her.  
  
"No, then who will chase the bad men away? They will hurt me, you know they will, I want to come with you." Agnes pleaded, still whispering.  
  
"I can't take you with me, honey, someone is after me now and I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Chris explained, sneaking peeks over her shoulder to see if there was anyone around.  
  
"I have been chased my whole life by my own demons, a couple of yours won't make a lot of difference." The girl suddenly seemed very lucid to Chris, except of course that it was only paranoid illusions that were following her, Chris demon was a bit more lethal then that.  
  
"I know a way out of here, we won't get detected." The girl then said, to convince Chris that she really should take her.  
  
"OK then Agnes, you can come. Show me the way."  
  
======================  
  
next time the final confrontation, tell me what you think and if you have suggestions about what should be in the next chapter, feel free to mail me (or write it in your review) 


	5. Broken Angel Chapter 5

AN: do you ever have a scene in your head and you can't do anything else until you have it on paper? Well, this chapter consists almost solely of those moments, you can imagine how my exams will go next week :P  
  
Broken Angel Chapter 5  
  
When the sun came out it found two sleeping figures on a bench near the beach, it send a couple of beams to tickle their too pale faces and with some delight saw the older of the two stirring and waking, the sun looked upon them once more and then set to do her daily duties, those being rising and shining and later setting of course.  
  
===========  
  
Chris awoke when she felt the sun shining on her face, she stirred and opened her eyes, her back ached for she had been sitting on a bench hunched over Agnes whose head lay on her lap, in other words, not the optimal way to spend a night.  
  
"Agnes, Agnes wake up, we've got to get going." Chris softly said, waking the girl up.  
  
In much a similar manner as Chris the girl awoke from her uncomfortable slumber, she looked around and when she figured out where she was she looked at Chris.  
  
"What will we do now?" she asked, Chris realized that she was responsible for Agnes now, the girl was totally innocent concerning the real matters of the world and cursed herself for bringing her along, not that she would have gotten very far without her.  
  
"I don't know, I thought I'd go to TC or Cory but I don't know where they live these days and honestly I can't go to the firehouse, everyone there will know by now. So I guess we'll just have to find a phonebook or something." Chris figured, and looked at the girl who was trying to stretch all the knots out of her back.  
  
"OK" Agnes said and just shrugged, figuring Chris would take care of everything.  
  
"OK then, come on; let's see if there is a payphone with a phonebook around here somewhere." Mary started after Chris but was stopped by a man wearing a priest's collar.  
  
"Come on girls, I am sure you would like a nice breakfast after a night on a bench." He smiled kindly and only now Chris realized what they looked like, her clothes didn't match and weren't exactly clean after they had crawled through the opening in the garden gate just behind the gardenia's, she was still thin and pale after her flu spell and her hair was just one big mess.  
  
"Can we Chris? Can we go get breakfast?" Agnes asked, she clearly was hungry but would do as Chris told her.  
  
"Not now honey, I'll get us something to eat in a little bit, but thanks for the offer." She had first turned to Agnes but had then turned to the priest, she couldn't say this to Agnes but she actually knew who this was, they had tried to use him as an informant a couple of times but he couldn't say anything, he hadn't recognised her however, which wasn't too big a surprise, but she didn't want to take any chances.  
  
"Are you sure, ma'am? Your daughter looks like she is hungry and it is completely free of charge." The priest looked a bit worried when Chris face clouded over, he didn't get it was out of pride, being called the mother of an adolescent was almost the same as being called old in your face and although she was up to her neck in troubles she still felt the need to correct the man.  
  
"She is not my daughter and yes I am sure, come on Agnes." Chris said and stomped away, Agnes shrugged apologetic to the priest and followed Chris.  
  
"That wasn't very nice." Agnes commented when she had caught up.  
  
"He was rude."  
  
"He offered us free breakfast."  
  
"He should've minded his own business." Chris felt a headache coming up, partly stress related (cause being on the kill list of a murderer does that to you) partly from having been up all night while still in this fragile state and partly because of the few minutes she had actually slept on that bench, that hard hard bench.  
  
"There! There is a payphone; if we find that name will we get breakfast?" Agnes pleaded, the priest had made her aware she was hungry and she wasn't about o let Chris forget about it.  
  
Chris checked the box but there wasn't a book in it, just as she had expected, "Come on, we'll go to the library, maybe they'll have one there, and then we have to hope TC will be in there, or Cory."  
  
"And then we will get breakfast?" Agnes whined, Chris rolled her eyes out of eye sight of the girl.  
  
"Yes, now you have to stop whining alright?" She sternly said, figuring this was what it must feel like to be a parent. The girl nodded obediently.  
  
===========  
  
The library had had a phonebook but neither TC nor Cory was in there, Chris sighed and plopped down on a bench near the library warming herself in the sunshine.  
  
"So, what do we do now?" Agnes asked, she sat in the grass at Chris feet, it was clear what the girl was thinking, and it had more to do with filling her stomach then finding any person.  
  
"We try and get something to eat." Chris resigned, but she didn't stand up, she felt like all the energy had drained from her, like she had been walking on hope and now it was running out.  
  
"Well, come one then." The girl had jumped to her feet, with a sigh Chris followed her example, a little slower though.  
  
"Why aren't you scared Agnes?" she asked, just out of curiosity.  
  
"Because you are here." The girl smiled so innocently and sweet that Chris couldn't help but smile back, even in their current state under the knowledge that it was her fault that Agnes was in this state right now.  
  
"Mary! Hi Mary, can you help us get breakfast?" Agnes waved cheerily to the woman who hadn't spotted them before that, and apparently hadn't realized they weren't in the hospital any more either.  
  
"Agnes no!" Chris tried to stop her but it was too late.  
  
"It's just Mary." Agnes explained patiently to Chris as Chris had done so often for her when she was scared of something that only existed in her head.  
  
"Mary's my demon, Agnes." Chris said, and tried to pull the girl along to safety, they got stuck in a crowd on the boardwalk.  
  
"No Chris, it's just Mary, she'll get us breakfast, she won't tell on us, she is a friend, maybe she will know where this friend of yours lives." But when she saw Chris close to tears she shut her mouth and just followed. Chris dove in an alley that ended up on a parking lot, this early in the morning only a few cars occupied the spaces. Chris turned to see a way out of there, but there were fences all around and Mary was coming fast to follow, bumping up into several people until she had found what she wanted. Chris was an experienced cop, she knew a pick-pocket in action when she saw one.  
  
"Come on, Agnes, get over that fence, I'll try to stall Mary. Please, just run for your life okay?" Chris urgently said to the girl and hoped she would just hurry up.  
  
"Come with me, Chris." Agnes pleaded, more afraid of being left alone then facing a woman who she still didn't consider an enemy.  
  
"Go, and tell someone to call the police." Chris said, Agnes finally nodded and sprinted away and over the fence.  
  
Chris turned to face Mary who had now reached her.  
  
"I should just shoot you." Mary said, now Chris knew what she had been looking for picking the pockets of those men, and by the look of the other woman she had found it.  
  
"Mary, you were my friend, I didn't mean to kill your brother, I didn't take the medal because I didn't think I deserved it, I killed a kid that day. I wish I could do it differently now, Mary, but I can't and killing me will not bring him back, it will be a senseless murder, you will have to spend a lot of time in prison for it. You deserve better." Chris tried to talk her way out of it but knew the situation had gone too far.  
  
"You are right, I do deserve better, you on the other hand deserve death and I will bring it to you." Mary pulled of the safety and took careful aim, Chris jumped behind a car as the shot went off, and to her own surprise discovered herself unharmed. She heard footsteps nearing, Mary's.  
  
"You can't run, you can't hide, I'm going to get you." The woman softly said, loud enough for Chris to hear though. Then Mary stood before her once more, closer this time, and Chris saw Mary wasn't a good shot, she aimed to far to the right, so she rolled to the left, under a car, and just a fraction of a moment later Mary fired, then cursed.  
  
Chris saw the parking lot's exit looming so promising before her, but she knew she would have a bullet in her back before she would get halfway, even Mary couldn't be that bad a shot. However she was running out of options, she was relying on luck as she had been from the start. She wished she could credit her training at least a bit, but training or not she would have been dead by now if Mary had been just a bit better at aiming.  
  
Chris heard something that made her believe her luck hadn't run out just yet, the trademark zooming of the police bikes. However, the barrel of Mary's gun was a lot closer, Mary kneeled down to steady her hand and took aim, Chris knew that if she tried rolling under the car again Mary would surely hit, she still leaned too much to the right which now worked in her favour. Chris' thoughts were racing as she saw two cops, she didn't recognize them immediately because she didn't dare to take the time to look. Mary couldn't see them coming and probably didn't notice the sound either, she was fixated on making this shot count. Chris just had to stall.  
  
"I don't want to die." It was the first thing that popped into her head, probably because it had been turning over and over again in her head since the moment she had seen Mary that morning.  
  
"You should have thought of that before you started murdering innocent kids like my brother." Mary said, Chris noted she wasn't as composed as she had been the first time she tried to kill her. The perfect plan was falling apart at the seams and Mary knew it.  
  
"You don't have to do this, what you have done to me. It's worse then any imprisonment could ever be, just go away now, leave me be. Just leave me be Mary, I have paid for what I did." Chris said, and in the corner of her eye saw the two cops getting off their bikes and silently nearing them, she knew they would have called for back-up by now.  
  
"You need to die. That's all I have lived for since he died, I want my life back! You need to die!" Mary was shrieking now, like she had lost all control of herself, that in itself scared Chris but she also knew it was her only hope, Mary had always been in control and now, for some reason pretty much unknown to Chris she wasn't any longer. But to her misfortune Mary pulled herself together, steadied herself and was about to shoot, Chris pulled her legs under herself to jump at the woman when finally the police officers she had seen coming jumped into action.  
  
"Freeze! Police!" the one yelled, she recognized him as Bobby and inwardly cringed, today wouldn't be his favourite day.  
  
"Bobby, she. . I. Bobby." Mary cried out, trying to think of something but coming up short.  
  
"It's over Mary." Bobby said and carefully came closer to her, his weapon still raised.  
  
"Come on, lower your gun." Monica, the other cop, said. About now the back- up finally arrived, in the form of none other then Cory and TC, Chris vaguely remembered something about Cory being transferred and in the back of her head she wondered what she was doing here then, but most of all she looked at TC, if she didn't make it out of this she wanted his image to be the last one she saw.  
  
Mary so close to giving up saw the look on her face, the love and raised her gun once more.  
  
"You must die." She just said, five shots rang almost simultaneously.  
  
Chris was shaking, she couldn't stand up, slowly she brought her hand up to her hair, to the right side of her head and felt it, the bullet had gone through burning her hair slightly but doing no further harm then that. She only now dared to look upon the body before her, four bullets had hit her in the head and chest. Chris couldn't stop shaking, she knew she had to be strong but she just couldn't stop it.  
  
TC ran up to her and scooped her up in his arms, she grabbed him, clutching her arms around him as tightly as she could and only then she started crying.  
  
Bobby dropped on his knees next to the corpse, he had really loved this woman, the woman he knew she could have been, kind, sweet, smart, generous, funny, but she was a murderer, a crazy one at that. He told himself over and over that she didn't deserve his tears, that she didn't deserve any grieving at all, but bending over her body as he sat he couldn't help it, slowly his tears started to fall.  
  
===========  
  
From outside the fence Agnes looked at the scene playing before her, how Mary, a woman she had always trusted turned so mean and then got shot. She started looking around her, every one of these people could be Mary's in disguise. She looked at Chris who had always been her friend who had tried to protect her even from the demon Mary had turned out to be, but now she wouldn't be able to save a kitten let alone a woman. Agnes turned from the fence and quickly ran away, avoiding the people where she could.  
  
========  
  
"Come on, I'll take you home." He quietly said after kissing the top of her head.  
  
"Home?" Chris asked, wondering if he meant the psych ward or his home.  
  
"Yes home." The way he said it made it clear that he wouldn't let her go, he would be taking her home, and her home was wherever he was.  
  
TC carried her away though she had stopped shaking and could walk now, but she preferred, as did he to be as close to him as possible. On their way to the waiting car Chris saw Cory, they shared a look and smile and sometimes that is enough, enough to know you have a friend, knowing that she did feel better and turned her attention back to TC.  
  
======== That night =====  
  
Chris woke up with a start, the last tendrils of sleep still clouding her mind, she had been dreaming again, but not the horrible dreams she had been having the last five years, she wasn't even dreaming about Mary or her death, quite surprising considering what she had went through, you'd think her subconscious would want to have a say in it. She had been dreaming of children, laughing children. She huddled deep into the covers of the bed, the bed smelled like him, it smelled safe and comfortable, she thought of him sleeping downstairs on the couch, in his own house. She had banned him to the couch often enough, he had banned himself to the couch often enough too, he was chivalrous that way, but until she got under the influence of Mary and her drugs she never actually thought her marriage wouldn't last forever. Maybe she had been naïve, she had anticipated trouble every once in a while but had faith that they would work it out. She wondered if they could work this five year gap out, she hoped so though.  
  
She felt urged to go down now, to see him sleep. He looked like an angel when he slept. She sneaked down and quietly opened the door, just to sneak a peak, but when she looked she couldn't turn away, so she entered the living room and promised herself five minutes, then she would go back up. She closed the door behind her and rested against it, the tenderness she felt at seeing him like this clearly written on her face, yet there was no one there to see, it was just the two of them.  
  
"Enjoying the view?" He asked, almost delivering her a heart attack. She started to stammer something but then noticed he was smiling that teasing smile of his.  
  
"I was uhm, looking for a glass, to get a drink of water." She said, playing the game along.  
  
"There's one next to the sink in the bathroom upstairs, you know, the room next to my bedroom?" he asked sweetly.  
  
"Well, I must have been half asleep then because I couldn't find it." She countered.  
  
"You having trouble sleeping?" he asked, opting for a real conversation.  
  
"Yeah, well I slept like a baby but then a dream woke me up." She answered truthfully.  
  
"Good or bad?"  
  
"Good, which is nothing short of a miracle." She saw he didn't understand so explained. "I have been having nightmares every night for years on end now." She said and sat down at the other end of the couch, next to his feet. He sat a little straighter so he could look at her better, then pulled his blanket over her as well. She smiled a little and put her legs under the blanket and on the couch, now sitting in the same position as he was. They sat facing each other with the other one's feet next to them under the blanket, it was very sweet actually.  
  
"When did they start?" he asked, getting back to the subject they had been talking about.  
  
"A couple of months before I had myself committed, they were the reason why actually." She admitted.  
  
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" He asked, a little hopelessness creeping into his voice.  
  
"I don't know. Well, I do, but I now see the faults in my reasoning. I dreamed about you, murdering you, night after night, sometimes I killed more then just you but always people I loved and cared about. At first I just dismissed it but later in the mornings when I woke up I. . . still wanted to kill you, it got to a point where I already put my hands around your neck, or went to get my gun. I scared the hell out of myself, so I thought up an excuse and ran. Only later I thought of the mental institute. So I went there. I just didn't want anyone to find me, I was ashamed and convinced that it was better this way. All I wanted was for you to be happy, and safe." Her voice had broken and unshed tears started forming in her eyes, she bit her lip to force them back.  
  
She then looked up to look him directly in the eye, she wanted to know what he was thinking, but she couldn't see it, his eyes, his face, once an open book to her no longer told her their tale. He didn't say anything so she continued her explanation.  
  
"She was drugging me, I still don't know how but she told me she was drugging me from the start." Now TC nodded  
  
"When I took you to the doctor today he told me that besides the high level of antibodies there were also remnants of an unknown drug in your system."  
  
"Well, so much for doctor patient confidentiality, but it's OK, I have nothing to hide form you anymore." She wished he would give a reaction, anything but this.  
  
"Did the drugs make you lie to me and run away?" He finally asked, after a couple of moments of silence.  
  
"I don't know, but I don't think so, that was just me, running scared." She paused for a moment, knowing she had disappointed him, and then decided it was her turn to ask some questions.  
  
"Why didn't you move on, get a girlfriend, marry her, I'm sure it wouldn't have been hard to have me be declared dead." She asked, hoping she would like the answer.  
  
"Because I couldn't move on without having talked to you one more time, I still don't understand why you just couldn't tell me, for better or worse, don't those words mean anything to you? Or did you just have too little faith in me?" he asked, only now his face broke into its usual patterns and she could tell that he was saddened, not a huge surprise.  
  
"You don't understand." she stood up from the couch and walked to a cabinet where she had seen a little trinket that would normally hold no place in a single man's house. It was a little porcelain angel, her head held high and her wings spread as if ready to take on the world. She picked it up and held it up so he could see.  
  
"Let's say this was me before Mary started screwing with my head." He nodded, she let the little statue drop on the ground and shatter around her bare feet.  
  
"That's me after." She just said, he first bit his lip but then smiled and beckoned her back to the couch.  
  
"I bought that at an antique store for an outrageously high price, because it reminded me of you. But it isn't you because nothing can fix that angel but I would like a shot at mending you." He said, his voice filled with care, he finally understood and though he had always figured he would have to move on after a final conversation it only made him more determined to grow old and happy with her.  
  
"I love you, Chris, I have always loved you and I don't think I can stop, I tried, while you were gone but I couldn't." he said, his eyes shining brilliantly with what she assumed was love.  
  
"Are you saying you want to give us another shot?" She asked, afraid to hope.  
  
"We still have a lot of talking to do and promise not to keep secrets. But I cannot imagine a life without you; I don't want a life without you." She smiled a smile that was probably too wide for a solemn and quite dramatic moment like this but she just felt too happy to suppress it, she jumped over him and landed in his embrace.  
  
"I love you so much." She said and to her own annoyance started crying, she was still smiling though making it clear this was happy crying. He gently kissed her forehead, not troubled at all that she was lying on top of him, she was very frail and thin, he could have broken her with one arm but instead he cherished her, wanted to protect her from the big bad world and shout out in joy that finally she was back with him, back the way they were supposed to be.  
  
With a grin he noticed she had fallen asleep on his chest, he pulled the covers over her and kissed her forehead once more, then closed his eyes and fell asleep himself.  
  
===========  
  
OK, so that was the story, I still have some ideas about the next day, reactions of several people, explanations that haven't yet been given in here, anyone think I should write them down too or is this ending enough? Please review. 


	6. Broken Angel Chapter 6

Broken Angel Chapter 6  
  
AN: As this is the final Chapter I think I need to thank everyone here, M_yu182: *blushes* good, eh? Thank you so much! Glory02 (still working on the fanclub in your honor hehe) well if you don't get your fill of C/C friendship here I don't know what will ;) Chiquinta: Girl you write so well, and just the fact that you seem to read my stories and like them is just really an honor! Sorry there are only a few lines dedicated to Bobby, I just couldn't fit him in here. And finally pacificbluegirl, because it was your mail that made me jump up and write, even if it wasn't directly related to this story :P  
  
This Chappie is dedicated to you guys!  
  
Broken Angel Chapter 6  
  
"So, tell me, what have you been doing in the time you were away from us?" the doctor asked, finally looking up from his notebook.  
  
"That's a long story doc." Chris answered.  
  
"I've got time." He smiled fatherly.  
  
"Well, alright, first while I was still here Agnes stopped me demanding she'd come along, I tried to talk her out of it but she didn't listen, so she came along. The next morning we tried finding my husband or my best friend but had no luck. We hadn't had breakfast yet and Agnes was hungry, so when she saw Mary, someone I had told her was a friend about a million times, so she shouted to her. She thought Mary could get us breakfast." Chris looked a bit unhappy recalling all of this but went on anyway.  
  
"I ran, Agnes ran along, we came to this parking space, surrounded by fences, I sent Agnes over one to get help, I stayed to try and stall Mary and make sure at least Agnes would get away safely. It turned out Mary had got a gun somewhere. Luckily she wasn't a good shot, she leaned too far to the right you see. That is how I survived the two shots she fired before the police showed up. Anyway, Mary decided that I had to die even if that meant she would die with me, so took another shot, this is why my hair is a bit singed. Mary got shot though, by the police officers." She looked at the psychiatrist for a reaction but when none was given she continued again.  
  
"Then TC took me to a hospital to see if I was really alright, there they found several traces of known drugs and of one unknown. I'm guessing that's the one Mary used to drug me. He also found high levels of antibodies in me which isn't really a surprise, he gave me a vitamin shot and released me. Then I had to give my statement about what happened to TC and Monica, then Cory came in to talk to me for a little bit and then TC took me home." Chris gave the short version of what had transpired, somehow a little offended that it could be said in so few words.  
  
"And TC is your husband?" he asked, Chris just nodded, "Alright, what happened after he took you home?"  
  
"Well, at first he was fussing over me a lot, making sure I had everything I needed but was also trying to avoid me, so that was kinda weird. He told me to take the bed, he took the couch, we had a little debate about that but I honestly didn't want to get into a fight over something like that so I took the bed. Later that night I woke up.- " the doc interrupted her  
  
"Did you have a dream?" he asked, knowing about the dreams she was having when still influenced by the medication, he wasn't entirely sure she had been drugged at all.  
  
"I can't remember it exactly, but I do remember there were children, laughing and playing, nothing bad." She assured him.  
  
"OK, what did you do when you woke up?" he asked, making several notes on his sheet.  
  
"I went downstairs into the living-room to see him sleep. He always looks so innocent when he sleeps." She got a dreamy look, then sobered again "but he woke up, and we started talking. He asked me why I hadn't told him, why I lied when I left and I explained him. Then he expressed his faith in us as a couple and we expressed our mutual love for one another. Then I fell asleep, on the couch." She said, like summarizing a story she had once read.  
  
"Did anything else happen? When you woke up for instance." The doctor asked, his face a textbook picture of innocence.  
  
"Well, we woke up pretty early because your goons came bouncing on the door and took me away." She said, granting him a little glare.  
  
"Right, why didn't he come with you?" he asked, not flinching.  
  
"Because I figured you would want to grill me and someone has to keep the firehouse running, I don't think Bobby will be up to it at the moment."  
  
"And Bobby would be."  
  
"The sergeant, he was Mary's boyfriend."  
  
"But didn't you want your husband with you? You reconciled so quickly I would think you would want to spend every minute with him." He said, trying to draw a reaction out of her.  
  
"I went from 24 hours a day 7 days a week of seeing him to nothing at all, we still have to figure a lot out both in ourselves as in us if you know what you mean, I don't want to crowd him, and I don't want to be crowded, the amount of time we spend together is just one of the million things we still need to work through." Chris said after a moments thought.  
  
"So you do realize there are a million things need working through?" The doctor asked, scribbling again.  
  
"Yes, it's not like one little talk can cover so many things, but it laid a foundation, we know where we stand with one another and that is important, in my opinion anyway." Chris said, hoping she sounded said enough to be released from this damned clinic as early as today.  
  
A nurse stuck her head around the door after a quick knock "Doctor, there is a visitor for Miss. Mrs Kelly or whatever you're called these days." The nurse said with an exasperated look directed at Chris whose mouth immediately twitched upwards.  
  
"Who is it?" he asked, wondering how she had went from no visitors ever to about a thousand breaking down doors every day.  
  
"Cory MacNamara." The nurse said. The shrink looked at Chris who seemed pleasantly surprised.  
  
"Alright, let her in." He said, thoroughly surprising Chris.  
  
A little hesitant Cory walked into the office, she saw Chris sitting on the edge of the couch, the psychiatrist behind his desk looking very formal, she didn't know what to do or what to say as she usually tended to avoid people like him.  
  
"Hey." Chris said smiled at her.  
  
"Hey." Cory answered, then nodded politely to the doc.  
  
"Miss MacNamara, I am doctor Rossberg, Chris's current shrink. Please sit down." He said and Cory did, nervously fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she went.  
  
A moment of silence followed, Chris suspected he did this on purpose so decided to end it herself.  
  
"So, what brings you here?" she asked, then realized it was a stupid question, it wasn't like Cory was driving through the neighbourhood and decided to pop in.  
  
"I came to see you actually, I called TC earlier and he told me you were back here, and since I had the day off anyway and he kinda asked me to check up on you." she looked a bit guilty telling her friend this.  
  
Chris just smiled. "Well, I'm glad you did, I missed you." Then she suddenly turned to the doc. "Could you go away please?" there was no doubt about it, this was an order. He looked up from his notes, very surprised.  
  
"What? Why?" he asked, incredulously.  
  
"Because I want to talk to my friend and I don't need an audience, don't worry, I'll give you the short version later." She gave him a look, telling him to get out now if he ever wanted to have babies.  
  
He muttered something about being send out of his own office but then went, no doubt to the place where he could listen in the best.  
  
Chris honestly didn't care, she just wanted Cory to be a little bit more comfortable.  
  
"Are we OK? I mean, I don't expect everything to be alright immediately or the same as when I left for that matter but you still are my friend, right?" Chris asked, suddenly she had nothing of the woman who just glared the doc out of the room in her anymore, she looked fragile, the dark circles under her eyes seemed more noticeable, her fingers just a little more bony, her hair just a little less shiny.  
  
"Of course you still are my friend! Friends are forever." Cory came over and hugged Chris tight, only now realizing how she had missed doing that.  
  
"I think I need to tell you about something that happened when you were away though." Cory said, feeling the familiar surge of guilt surge through her.  
  
"I think I already know, TC told me this morning, we promised no secrets so decided to get everything that could be considered a secret later out. I think it was somewhere after I nicked his razor to finally shave my legs but definitely before he found out it was his last one." Chris said, adding the little memory to make sure Cory knew she wasn't upset about it.  
  
"He told you what exactly?" Cory asked, not taking any chances, really wanting this thing she had been carrying around off her chest.  
  
"That when I was away you two did the horizontal tango, well not really like that but you get what I mean." Chris shrugged.  
  
"Just once! And honestly you have to believe me I have regretted it for ever." Cory looked a bit panicked.  
  
"It's OK, it doesn't change anything, if it made you two happy for as little as moment when I couldn't be there why should I be mad? I only wished for you both to be happy, if it would be together so be it, but it didn't turn out that way, and that's alright too. I still love him, I still love both of you. Well as long as you don't do it again that is." Chris grinned, Cory whacked her  
  
"Hey, I am a married woman these days!"  
  
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot, Paul was his name right? How long have you been married anyway?"  
  
"A couple of years, we're adopting a baby in a couple of weeks, well we are trying to but just a week ago they offered us something, a six month year old baby plus her eight year old brother, Paul and I are still discussing that, I mean, he already knows who his parents are and is bound to feel abandoned and everything and just raising a child is hard enough you know? But then again, we can't separate the two and doesn't that little boy deserve a chance as well?" Cory was surprised how quickly she had slipped back into their old ways of confiding in each other.  
  
"You are missing one thing here, if you have the brother the baby will have to know it was adopted, I was just wondering what you thought about that." Chris asked, drawing from her own experience.  
  
"I don't know, I mean on the one hand the kid deserves to know where it comes from but on the other hand, it'll be my kid, my baby it comes from me, and Paul of course. How did you feel when you found out?" Cory asked, knowing about Chris's two fathers.  
  
"I felt a lot, but I don't know what I would have felt if my dad had told me sooner. I had a good enough childhood, I don't know how that would have changed if I had known, still I would say, don't lie. Even if your kid someday understands why you didn't tell, he will always know you have willingly lied, and that just isn't good for your relationship."  
  
"Yeah but how do you even explain to a child that your not his real mother?"  
  
"Well, I guess that if you have the older one too you won't have to worry about it, you just have to tell the truth when he. or she asks."  
  
"So you think we should have the baby girl and her brother?"  
  
"I think you have to decide that, you and Paul but I know that you will be a great mom whatever you choose."  
  
Cory smiled, thankful for her friends support and hugged her again, it was just so great to have her back.  
  
"But enough about me, what happened between you and TC?" Cory asked, eager to get to the good stuff.  
  
"A lot actually, we talked mostly, he was really great, we didn't do anything. you know, because I don't want to infect him and because we both really want it to work and don't want to do anything that we'll regret later or rush into things. Anyway, at first it was kinda weird and very strained, but later we really talked, then we slept, then we talked some more and then I got dragged back here." Chris said.  
  
"What did you talk about?" Cory asked. Behind the door the doc rolled his eyes, Chris would never have answered that question to him!  
  
"At first why I lied, which by the way was because I was totally freaked out by the fact that I really wanted to kill him." Chris saw Cory's face first move to surprised and then understanding.  
  
"The drugs right? I read your statement." Cory said, letting her know she didn't have to explain the whole thing.  
  
"Right, it took a while but I think I gave him a pretty clear picture of what was going on inside my head, later we talked about how it had effected him and how we should have a really open relationship etcetera, then this morning he told me what had been going on these last five years. And I finally got to shave my legs." Chris expression went to a deliriously happy one, Cory laughed and shook her head.  
  
"How did you bear the itch?" Cory asked, grimacing at the thought.  
  
"It was just the first couple of weeks that it itched, but still, I felt very stupid particularly in shorts or a nice dress, not that the clothes given to me were ever really nice but still."  
  
"You couldn't keep your own clothes?" Cory asked, horrified.  
  
"At first I could but later when there just were too few nurses they were all put away by measure and you got the one at the top. Sometimes Mary managed to get something nice though. Do you know what is going to happen to her? Are they going to bury her or." Chris felt a bit guilty for not thinking about this before.  
  
"I don't know, I guess we have to make arrangements for something, I mean, Bobby really did love her and I don't think her being a psychopathic killer changes that. Well, it probably would if she hadn't died, but she did." Cory said, they were both down thinking about the young woman.  
  
"What do you feel about her?" Cory asked, trying to understand the relationship Chris had with her would-be murderer.  
  
"I don't know, for five years I thought she was the only friend I had left, then she turned out to be the exact opposite, but does that mean the curtains she brought me to brighten up my room were any less of a gift? I just don't know what to make of her, one the one hand she was my enemy, but on the other she was just a kind of a bit confused woman. I just don't know how to remember her, you know?" Cory put her arm around Chris in a half hug.  
  
"It'll be alright." She said, knowing it was all she needed to say.  
  
"Yeah." Chris sighed "How is Bobby doing anyway?"  
  
"He's dealing, it's really hard on him as I said but I think he just needs closure and a good cry. All we can do is be there for him to offer our shoulder."  
  
Chris silently nodded, though she wondered if he would even talk to her.  
  
About then the shrink found it an appropriate time to re-enter himself into his office and into the conversation.  
  
"OK, I hope your done doing whatever I could not witness because we weren't done yet." He said and sat down behind his desk again.  
  
"By all means doc, please continue." Chris said cynically.  
  
"Right, Miss MacNamara, you are a police officer, correct?"  
  
"A lieutenant actually." Cory answered.  
  
"I assume you have seen the police report on Chris's case?" he then asked, not acknowledging her statement.  
  
"Yes." Cory answered shortly, wondering where this would lead.  
  
"I assume her toxicology report is in there, can I get a copy of it?"  
  
"You're not sure she really was drugged." Cory stated "The doctor there said she had some unknown drugs in her system." She felt an urgent need to defend her friend, she felt guilty for not picking up what was wring so many years ago and now tried to pay her back this way.  
  
"Unknown to him, we know a lot more about them here and we know exactly what she has been given and how long it would linger in her bloodstream. I just want to know for sure."  
  
"She looks OK to me."  
  
"She always looked alright, her attacks were always swift and without warning, how do you think she lost her razor privileges?" the doctor asked Cory, who shrugged, already guessing what would follow.  
  
"She had fallen asleep in the bathtub, when the attending nurse woke her to give her her razor Chris here grabbed it, jumped out of the tub, shoved her against the wall and only then managed to get control over herself." The doc informed her.  
  
"Hello, still in the room." Chris said, "I really believe it was the drugs or whatever Mary slipped me that did that, but I did manage to get control back, didn't I? And now that I am all drug free I won't loose it again."  
  
"How do you know? Your husband is a policeman, maybe you want to go back to your old profession, do you really think you can trust yourself with a gun?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know, I know I won't carry one again, I won't go back to being a cop, because I have changed in my time here, but the point is that I don't want to kill anymore, so a gun in the house wouldn't be a huge problem."  
  
The doctor nodded and scribbled something down on his notepad.  
  
"Look doc, can I just please go home? I promise I will visit you every time you want but now I just really want to go home again." Chris pleaded, the doctor looked up and answered honestly.  
  
"Chris, I don't think you have completely healed, I am not convinced that the whole drug story is true but I don't think you are a danger to your environment anymore and I think you need to be back with your loved ones to fully heal, however, you have to come here every Friday and if I deem it necessary more and you have to promise me that if I think it's necessary to commit you again you will without a fuss. You're not well yet, Chris, but in time I am positive you will be." He said, the same fatherly smile appearing on his face again.  
  
This time Chris smiled back.  
  
"You mean I get to go home?" Tears of joy filled her eyes. The doctor nodded. She jumped up, passed the desk and hugged him.  
  
"Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me!" Chris excitedly said, then ran back to hug Cory.  
  
==========================  
  
The six of them sat around the table trading stories. Cory meanwhile was trying to feed Amy but the little girl apparently found it more fun to throw it over her mother. Her big brother, nine years these days, was enjoying the attention of 'uncle' TC as he told him how some robber had tried to steal a police bike. The boy had really come round this last year, he was no longer hostile but grown friendly and although Cory and Paul would disagree, had turned into an all around kid. Finally Paul decided to take over form his wife, not that he came out of the whole ordeal any cleaner, but it gave her some time to chat with Chris, they hadn't talked all week, which was a record when they thought about it.  
  
"So, how are things?" Cory asked, trying to wipe the banana/apple mush from her shirt.  
  
"Good, TC and I have been talking about having a baby ourselves." Chris blushed like a virgin. Next to this almost ideal family she felt pretentious and stupid suggesting it; it wasn't like she knew how to be a mother.  
  
"Oh! Really? That's so great!" Cory squealed and hugged Chris, so spreading around the mush, neither really cared about that though, not at that moment.  
  
TC looked up and smiled.  
  
"See, I told you it was a good idea." He told his wife, and not very subtly telling Cory about Chris's doubts as well.  
  
"Well of course it's a great idea! You two have come so far this last year, you would make such great parents." Cory said, only to receive a spoonful of mush thrown to her head. She turned, but couldn't be mad at the little girl giving her best imitation of an angel.  
  
"Would you stop that, I am trying to have a conversation here!" she chided the little girl gently, already wiping her hair clean. Then turned back to the parents-to-be.  
  
"Honestly, and if you ever need anything you know we'll be here right? So what can go wrong?"  
  
A whole list of things that could wrong started moving past Chris' mind eye, it just seemed like the odds of them producing a kid from birth to adulthood were extremely low. But then she looked at TC, how great he was with Jackson and the odds just rose a little bit.  
  
"It's just scary you know?" Chris said, but she had already made up her mind. With family like this, who wouldn't want another child to benefit from it?  
  
The conversation carried on merrily but Chris stayed quiet for the best part, she was going to be a mother, it still took some getting used to. On her left she felt TC's hand brush up against hers, she entwined her fingers with his, on her other side she took Cory's hand and held that one too. Her family, the ones she loved most in this world, they were going to have a baby.  
  
Her mind wandered back to a night about a year ago, to an angel that shattered into pieces on the living-room floor. She was that angel no longer, not all the parts may be back in place yet, some scars may always stay but she felt good none the less, she was whole.  
  
Feeling the warmth of the hands she suddenly realized she was happy.  
  
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THE END  
  
How sappy was that? Anyway, this really really is the end, please give me feedback, it really helps me to write, constructive critisme is craved. I honestly want to improve my writing. If you don't feel comfortable reviewing on the site feel free to mail me: teveeltv@hotmail.com  
  
Well peeps, this was it, I hope you enjoyed it, I hope to see you all next time, I plan to write more :D 


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